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Another Catastrophe!
June 17, 2010 by Evelyn Kashinsky
Posted in•Social Thinking•A Parents View•How Big is the Problem?
Recently I was at the mall with my family. We spent several hours there and were all tired.
My youngest son wanted to sit there and eat pizza. We agreed and headed over to the food court, which was packed. Though we looked everywhere we couldn’t find a seat and so we told my youngest son we would find a place to get a slice at a pizzeria near us on the way home. He sat down on the floor and started to cry. This, he informed me, was a catastrophe. He wailed, “It’s not a little problem, not even a big problem. It’s a definite catastrophe!”
This is where learning social skills, or thinking socially as we like to call it, really comes into play. Appropriate socialization is more than just how we feel about a situation. There is no denying that to my son not being able to eat at the food court was a catastrophe. However, to anyone else it would qualify as a small problem. As we mature we realize that we need to look at other peoples thoughts and feelings about a problem. We realize that we may need to set aside our individual feelings and react to the problem as the others in the group are reacting. My son’s reaction to the problem was unexpected and made everyone around him feel uncomfortable. My feeling was that I did not want to go to the food court with my son if this was his reaction to not being able to eat there. He was not thinking socially and not thinking about other people’s perspectives.
When we discussed what happened, I asked my son if he thought that anyone else considered this problem a catastrophe. His answer was no. I said that it would have been better if he thought about how others would react to the problem rather than how he personally felt about it. I also relayed the consequences of his behavior, my never wanting to go to the food court again with him for fear that he would behave unexpectedly again.
He is learning this concept, but needs constant reminding. With practice he is starting to get it.
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